Then we talked…

22 Jul

I don't want to "see" you...

It’s been a little over five weeks since I left. It feels like longer yet it also feels like yesterday. It might have something to do with the surreality of separating after 23 years of marriage. Or possibly because I’ve been busy with this new life.

But over the past five-plus weeks, the husband hasn’t talked to me. Yes, email and text regarding bills and custody of the cabin, but not about why I left or how he feels about it or what the next steps are.

Until last night. When we talked over the phone for the first time. Since I got caught and fled the house.

Now here’s where I have to back the bus way the fuck up.

I joined Twitter last October to promote my blogs. I ended up meeting some interesting people and found a community that embraced my sarcasm and ogled my legs. I guess in large part it was that very attention that I was craving that held the tiny light in the night guiding me toward that fateful statement I made in June.

Ten days (yes, just 10 days) before that fateful night on the dance floor, I started chatting (a lot) with “someone”. The things we found in common was EVERYTHING. It was crazy and dare I say fated but I hadn’t even talked to him over the phone yet – so trust me when I say he is not the reason I left.

But I am now seeing him and I really like him a lot. We’ve gone a bit public on Twitter so if you’re following one of us you probably know who he is and that he’s a badass Rockstar.

So what’s this about me getting caught? Let’s just say, when you lie, you ALWAYS get caught. And I’m a shitty little liar.

Ironically, the husband also knows a bit about The Rockstar. Thank you to former friends for sharing inaccurate facts about him – I mean, wow, really?

Anyhoohaw, last night I talked to the husband for the first time and it was fairly drama free all things considered. In the hubby’s mind, I left him for The Rockstar. And that hurts like hell. But even though I didn’t have an affair while we were still living together, he won’t believe this. So after some finger pointing on the call we talked about the rules of our separation. They are fairly simple today:

  1. The Husband is going to start dating (knowing me, I’d probably like his girlfriend)
  2. We will get financial advice before deciding anything permanent (there’s a decent amount at stake to protect)
  3. I get to use the cabin or house on alternating weekends (and visitation with the puppies)
  4. The Rockstar is not allowed to stay at the main house or cabin (this was said in a somewhat menacing voice)

That’s about it for now. So what does this all mean?! This is going to be a long, long, process. But even so it feels right and while the old me would be impatient to drive this faster, the new me is getting buckled in and comfortable for the long ride ahead. And maybe popping some Dramamine (pronounced of course DRAMA-MINE).


4 Responses to “Then we talked…”

  1. Kim July 24, 2011 at 9:42 pm #

    You are so brave and I admire your honesty.

    • Lisa July 25, 2011 at 4:28 pm #

      Ah thanks Kim – I am nothing if not honest. Brutally honest at times…

  2. Nicki July 25, 2011 at 6:17 pm #

    Well that ought to about catch me up. You know me. I support you know matter what. There for you forever, chick. Let me know if there’s anything I can do. Talk/call if you ever just want to vent. So excited for you as you take this new life for a test drive.

    • Lisa July 26, 2011 at 10:35 am #

      Thanks Nicki – my life is a bit on warp drive, but I’m buckled in and having a really good time just going with the flow for a change. Mwah!

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