Archive | August, 2012

Sharing the B-Love…

20 Aug

I am truly honored and blessed by such a wonderful blog community here at WordPress. You have liked me, commented on my journey, and many of you are following me like the train wreck I am.

So it’s with pure amazement that I tell you this – I was nominated for an award by Jodie Ambrose last week! Me!

It’s called the You Make Me Shine award and I’m just tinkled pink and swathed in curls and bows over being acknowledged in this fashion.

I started writing this blog to see how my recent separation was shaping decisions I was making. Like washing my hair, would I RINSE the soap out or would I REPEAT the process. So to find a group of people who get me, who like reading about my journey, and even award me for it, is just pure awesome sauce on top of a stack of chocolate chip pancakes!

Now – in the spirit of all things bloggy goodness, here’s how awards work…

  1. Thank the person who nominated you and include a link to their site.
  2. Nominate other people (you choose how many–whatever makes you happy).
  3. Write some bad ass things about yourself.

So here goes… My list of bloggers who deserve your attention, love, and devotion:

Blog Dramedy

Under the Kitchen Table

Suddenly (not so) Single Journey

Shouts from the Abyss

Staked in the Heart

As for some tidbits and insights into what makes me tick. Let’s see:

1) I work in website development which means I’m part geek-girl.

2) I live 10 minutes from where I work and I still can’t get to work by 9am.

3) I talk for my little Yorkie, Sparticus, because I know exactly what he wants to say but can’t form the words, what with being a dog and all.

4) My mom is 71 years young and says the best things to me, like “honey, don’t say pussy, I prefer va-jay-jay.”

5) I just bought a high-heeled red shoe door stopper. Because I can.

And if you like this blog, you may like my others as well. Feel free to check out Boldly Mocking and Life and Love After 40.

And thanks again to Jodie Ambrose for my nod. I feel like Sally Fields at the Oscars. 🙂

Wordless Wednesday

14 Aug

Serenity in the desert…

This is what the doctor prescribed and I’m going to take my medication as directed. I leave next week…

With puffy eyes…

13 Aug

Wake up. Exercise. Shower. Cry. Work. Eat. Drink. Cry. Sleep.

Repeat.

18 days ago, my love affair with Rock ended.

Since then, I’ve been trying to cope with this loss. There are moments where I’m completely focused and on my game at work and then there are days like today, where I wake up and start crying in my coffee, feeling lonely and grieving hard. It’s 11:00a and I am so sad today I cannot read my email. I’ve decided to give up, give in to my despair, and go home to my lonely condo.

My  assistant is the best and I am so lucky to have her. She’s rescheduling my day, which is incredibly difficult to do and she’s even going to monitor my emails for critical items requiring my attention. Her name is Venus and she is an absolute goddess. Thank Goddess for her.

I know it won’t always be like this.  I take comfort in the fact that I will start to feel better soon. Maybe I’ll have something to smile about later today, or possibly tomorrow. Or the next day.

My best friend gave me some touch stones over the weekend. Courage, Healing Heart, and Love. Right now, I’m clutching Courage to my aching chest and hoping it won’t fail me again. It’s incredibly difficult to be courageous and start over. She promises me that one day, my heart will heal and I will feel love again.

Today however, I’m just taking it minute by minute. With puffy eyes, a red nose and running mascara.

All I need…

1 Aug

They say Sagittarians are brutally honest people. Hmmm hmmm. Well, I wasn’t so honest about sneaking Sparky into my condo on weekends. And for this, my sun sign got the best of me and forced me to man up, confess, and beg my landlord for mercy.

When I discussed the matter with Harold, my landlord, he completely understood my situation but reminded me that I chose to rent a place that didn’t allow pets. But he’d think about it.

He called me later and told me he’d allow me to have Sparky there on weekends provided I pay $1000 more in deposit and $150 per more in rent. I told him I’d have to rethink this a bit, I mean, seriously, $150 more per month for my little 8 pound yorkie?

Then he called again. Guess his lawyer (who calls a lawyer about stuff like this anyway?) said it would be a bad investment for him and that Harold should deny my request.

Here we go again. Gotta move. Again. So not looking forward to that – I have accumulated a lot of stuff since getting my own place. And with the packing and moving we did for the cabin in May still fresh in my memory, I started thinking I’d have to consider not letting Sparky stay with me. Oh, not to mention breaking my lease would cost me a shit ton if we couldn’t sort this out.

Isn’t he the cutest motherflippin dog?

So I wrote a 5 page letter to Harold and his wife. Complete with my sob story and pictures of me with Sparky, and candids of Sparky lying in the sun and frollicking in the grass. And I reminded Harold that he asked me to rent that condo because he knows that I would keep it pristine. You know, it’s “the devil you know” angle.

It worked! He wrote back “Dear Sparky’s Mommy”, and agreed to let me have Sparky stay and even reduced the monthly rent add-on to just $50!

I’m glad I don’t have to repeat the whole moving experience. At least for now. And it turns out, which cracks me the fuck up, that Sparky, who whimpers to get me to help him up on the couch, can actually jump up on my bed when I’m not there.

That little stinker.

I heart this boy with all my love…

I’ll be picking him up for a long weekend with me tomorrow and whereas in the past, I’d worry about him when I’d leave him alone, this weekend, I’ll know he’s happy as a clam all burrowed in my pillows.

All I need right now is the warmth of his breath and the softness of his touch to make me smile.