A thousand words…

30 Jun

With the divorce underway, and decisions on how we’ll split the assets agreed upon, it was time to put the house up for sale.  The ex did all the heavy lifting with getting the house ready, finding the realtor, and putting it up on the market.  In fact, when it sold, he did all the packing and moving.

He let me take whatever I wanted of course, but naturally, I didn’t want the photo albums of our 23 years together.

So when he said “hey there are a lot of cool pics in there, lets get them converted to digital!” I said “okay!”.  But the catch was, I’d have to get them converted, and he’d pay me half. Sounded reasonable…

Until I sat down with the albums and started going through them. I flipped through page after page of pictures of happier times, viewed through my tear filled eyes. I think I got through 5 pages before taking them back to the garage.

For the past year, I’ve kept one photo of he and I framed and hung on my photo wall. It’s of a time when we were last truly happy. We had just bought our vacation home in the mountains and were golfing that afternoon. We were leaving in a few days to go on a three week trip to Spain. Life was grand back then and we felt blessed for what we had and our future together.

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. I suppose that’s true. Maybe one day, I’ll be ready to hear them again. For now, they need to be left in that dusty corridor of my memory for now.

Happier times - thankful for them...

Happier times – thankful for them, but still…

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12 Responses to “A thousand words…”

  1. shoutabyss June 30, 2013 at 8:33 am #

    23 years is a long, long time.

    • Lisa June 30, 2013 at 8:36 am #

      Indeed – I filed for divorce a month shy of our 25th… We texted each other that day with “Um, Happy Anniversary?” and “Tough day, but glad we’re friends…”

      He’s an amazing man with a great sense of humor *thank god*.

  2. Socialkenny June 30, 2013 at 9:57 am #

    This is pure hypocrisy and why the entire system and marriage is rigged for failure. What is the divorce rate again in the western world?

    • Lisa June 30, 2013 at 10:09 am #

      Kenny, what part of this is bothering you? Remind me, are you married or divorced?

      • Socialkenny June 30, 2013 at 10:26 am #

        I’m neither. I just see marriage as a failed institution and destined to fail. So I was just asking you if you’re aware of the divorce rate in the western world. And if you are, why still marry as you did?

      • Lisa June 30, 2013 at 10:44 am #

        Ahhh! Well I guess I married because 25 years ago that was what people expected… The whole TIL DEATH DO US PART is quite a dramatic statement and while vows are one thing, laws are another.

        Your point about the hypocrisy is true!

      • Socialkenny June 30, 2013 at 10:52 am #

        And what was your mind set then when you’d marry? Was it just following the trend as you insinuated, or did you really believe that it would last forever? Don’t mean to come off as your therapist 🙂

      • Lisa July 1, 2013 at 6:27 am #

        I took my marriage very serious. I didn’t decide to end it lightly – in fact, it was something I knew was inevitable for about 10 years and for about two years prior to leaving, I imagined life without him, which likely gave me the courage to walk away and let us both find new happiness.

        I did think it would last forever. And it would have, until I realized how unhappy we both were.

      • Socialkenny July 1, 2013 at 7:41 am #

        Ok cool. Well part of my skepticism with marriage in that I don’t believe young marriages can work, is that it’s very easy for ppl to get tired and jaded of seeing the same person. Which is also why I get the rationale behind the swingers thing and married couple dating others out of experimentation,etc. It gives them psychological space. Being married just seems to rob one of that needed space and time alone. If I was to ever get married, my wife will have to be content or deal with the fact that I want to live alone. Or at least have a section of the house where I can just have time for myself because I get fed up of seeing same faces. I couldn’t imagine seeing the same girl’s face for 2 years every single day…let alone 5 years or a lifetime. This is what newlyweds don’t take into consideration: are you and your spouse prepared to look in each others’ faces every single fucking day!? Answer is no but on the high of marriage; they say yea.

  3. Denise June 30, 2013 at 12:04 pm #

    Wonderful memories of a one time happy life, so bittersweet to look at. Be grateful for that time of your life and look at it as a long chapter of your life story. Now time to start a new chapter! I’m so glad you two can be friends, me and my ex are civil but I’m still holding on to the bitterness and hurt to be “friends”.

    • Lisa July 1, 2013 at 6:31 am #

      When we saw other marriages fall apart around us, we talked about how there was love and respect when they married and hoped they’d find a way to recall that and end their time on that note. so when we split, it was with that same love and respect. it got us both through a very bad time.

      I’m sorry D that you still feel the bitter aftertaste of whatever happened in your marriage.

      There’s a lot of hope in the phrase “one day…”

  4. Blogdramedy July 25, 2013 at 11:05 am #

    Reminds me of the words to a song…”your day will come, when you’ll have everything.” And we all know it’s the hard stuff that makes the good stuff extra delicious.

    How you been doing, lady? Haven’t heard much from you…I’m sure you’re keeping it together and accessorizing with just the right pair of kick-ass shoes. 🙂

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