Archive | August, 2013

Bloggy goodness award…

29 Aug

She likes me, she really likes me! (She says reminiscent of Sally Field at the Academy Awards…)

Having a community of bloggers read your stuff is one thing, but to get nominated for “always having something entertaining, insightful and informative going on”, well, that’s just tons of super awesome bloggy loving.

A new follower not only gave me mad blog love by reading like my entire archive, but she also just nominated me for a Liebster award… This award is designed to recognize up and coming blogs with less that 200 followers – and I’m truly honored to have the nod.

Liebster Award

Here’s how it works… I have been asked to share 10 things about me, at the nominator’s choosing, with you all. Then, I must also choose bloggers to answer 10 questions – at my discretion… (Oooh, the possibilities!)

Here’s what she came up with:

Her Questions / My Answers:

1. Who is one person you really enjoy spending time with?

  • Person? Must my answer be human? Can it be canine, because I heart my doggie with all my love. If I have to give a shout out to a human, then it’s my best girlfriend T-bomb. We say the most inappropriate things when we are together. I’ll never think of waxing the same after a recent conversation with her.

2. One thing you (can) do for yourself everyday that (would) make(s) you happy?

  • Early morning sweating, breathing hard, and even a grunt or two. Releases endorphins that make me feel alive. (Re-reading the first part, perhaps I should confess that I’m referring to my elliptical workout and free weights. Maybe not? Keep em guessing?)

3. What is a bad habit of yours?

  • I have none. I’m totally perfect. *rolling my eyes* Next question…

4. What is something you are proud of yourself for?

  • I didn’t finish college – yet I have a very successful career. I’m proud of what I’ve learned, what I do, and that I’m (mostly) independent (don’t tell anyone but I do allow others to kill my spiders from time to time.)

5. One thing you like most about your blog/blogging?

  • The freedom it gives me to put voice to my thoughts. To become more clear about how I’m feeling, what I’m thinking, what something means to me. I am sarcastic and humorous, yet I’m also vulnerable and scared.

6. Something very many people do not know about you?

  • I think having an aura of mystery is intriguing, no?

7. Something you accomplished that you thought you wouldn’t be able to?

  • I have vertigo, so last year at a spa in the desert, I climbed up a 40′ pole and zip lined down. It took two crying jags and three hankies (plus some re-application of mascara), but I made it up! It was liberating to let go of that fear and just do it!

8. If you were an actor/actress and had to perform a crying scene, what would you think about to help you cry on the spot?

  • Homeless puppy videos. Imagining them hungry, unloved, full of mange with no safe place to sleep just kills me. Oh, and that goes for homeless kids too.

9. Maya Angelou said:  “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”  What three things do you think can tell you a lot about a person?

  • 1) How they wrap presents. Do they fold and tuck the ends? Use too much tape? Is there a bow? 2) How they eat an apple. Sliced, peeled, cubed, or do they just take a big ole bite and let the juice dribble down their chin… 3) What do they doodle? Flowers, hearts, stick-men? Devil horns? Math problems?

10. Agree or disagree:  Your happiness is directly connected to the speed of your internet connection?

  • For some people, I know for a fact a slow internet connection makes them itch to grab a gun and shoot the router box. Yeah, it’s frustrating, but for me, happiness is tied to my smile. If I’m smiling, I’m happy. If I’m not, it wouldn’t matter if the internet traveled faster than the speed of light.

So that’s it folks.  Now… on to whom I’m nominating – each of these terrific bloggers found me and, in turn, I found them. We each share different viewpoints and sometimes different experiences as it relates to being single/divorced/dating/etc. :

Adventures in Babysitting Men

Online Dating Journal

Young and Divorced

Repairing Shattered Pieces

Her Scorched Earth

How to Ruin a Relationship

And finally, here are the questions my recipients need to answer and share in their reciprocal blog:

  1. What psychotic break made you put digital ink to digital paper and create your first blog?
  2. Have you ever told a crush that you sleep with the lights on, clutching a teddy bear lying on a bed of Oreo cookie crumbs? If so, why?
  3. Are you lactose intolerant, allergic to gluten, vegan in any way? Do you wear hemp clothing, Birkenstock’s and drive a car powered by recycled vegetable oil? If so, why? If not, are you willing to change for a date with a super model?
  4. Pop quiz: it’s 3:45 p.m. and you are done with work. Will you wait til the magical cocktail hour or do you throw caution to the wind and pour that drink?
  5. Ever played with a Ouija board and swear you talked with a ghost? If so, how did that conversation go?
  6. Tell us about your earliest childhood memory (you can omit the fond memories of Mommy changing your poopie diaper and you laughing with maniacal glee, if’n you please.)
  7. Who is your secret celebrity crush and if you had one night alone with this person, to ask one and only one question, what would it be?
  8. What three things inspire you the most – to be a better person, writer, partner?
  9. If you can change a past relationship, what would you change?
  10. How difficult is it to fully share the details of your life in your blog?

There you have it people. Perhaps you learned even more about me with my questions to others? With as much flourish as I can muster, I end this post with a huge “southern belle curtsy” to Living and Learning.


Now for the fine print… Additional rules for all Liebster Award nominees:

  • You must link back the person who nominated you.
  • You must go to their blogs and notify your nominees.

It’s judgment day…

14 Aug

Although the ex-hubby and I have acquired a lot of property and assets (and debts), we agreed early on about how we would split the goods. And because we’ve been friendly during this whole time, we decided to forego mediators or divorce attorneys. After all, I’m very good at filling out forms, right?! I mean, how hard could it be to check some boxes, document the decisions, and be done with it?

California law mandates that a divorce cannot be final until a minimum of six months and one day has passed. In my mind, that felt like a short amount of time – but also like I had a lot of time! I should have kept a log of how many times I visited the court. How many hours I spent sitting on a hard bench waiting for my number to be called. How many times I had to amend my amended documents.

Now I understand why people hire others to do that shit for them. I’m wicked smart, but oh good gawd, did I make mistakes! This whole process also has also been more of an after thought for me – I agreed to do all of the paperwork and out of respect, I moved the process along as fast as my busy schedule would allow.

So I was surprised by what happened today. Since I filed all the right documents after countless tries, I was eligible to go to the court today and attend a workshop that would help me finish the process. Two hours with someone who would guide me through the right boxes to check – how easy would that be?

Actually, it was very easy – what was hard was sitting in a room hearing the other petitioners feeling joy over their upcoming freedom dates. The facilitator actually filled out a “cheat sheet” for each of us, identifying significant facts, like the date we filed, the date we separated, whether we had agreements or disputes. When I looked down and saw the date she wrote for me, for my judgment date, I choked up. Then I started tearing up. I didn’t have any tissue and there was none around. I mean, I guess they wouldn’t have tissue in this room, because after all, most petitioners are relieved and excited about being ‘free’.

I took my glasses off, carefully, but not surreptitiously, wipes the tears away from my eyes. I refused to look around and see if anyone was looking at me. I didn’t want to spoil their happiness with my sorrow.

I left him.

I chose this.

I didn’t want to be married anymore.

So why was I so upset? I suppose it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m still not ready for it to be over. Knowing that my last bond with such a wonderful man will end soon. Sooner than I thought.  And then what? Is he really out of my life? Weird how I’m looking forward to all the aftermath paperwork of title transfers, quit claims, and whatever else is needed to finish the process. Having been married to him for so long, I guess I want to prolong the inevitable.

Tomorrow, we will meet and sign our marital settlement agreement. It’ll be the last time I see him before he is free. I am not ready to think of myself as free, because my ghosts haunt me.

Judgment day is expected to be next Thursday, August 22. Or as I am now thinking of it: D-Day.Happily never after